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Si ma perché loro, essendo delle fobiche.. androfobiche, fallofobiche ecc. nel senso che non vorrei mai essere marito loro perché a sto punto sarebbe più piacevole scoparsi una grattugia che una femminista di queste, vedono la sessualità con connotazione negativa così come tutti i bigotti... Per cui vedono una connotazione disgustosa all'ipotesi che qualcuno abbia anche una ragione sessuale dietro una cosa. E prendono come dimostrazione 4 malati di mente in croce che effettivamente molestano, quando chi ha creato e studiato la teoria e il fenomeno non si è mai espresso in questi termini giudicanti! La solita strumentalizzazione. Però nessuno si lamenta della presenza di donne pervertite come me negli spogliatoi eh. Perché giustamente essendo il sesso povero intoccabile non siamo capaci di avere macchie. (Sempre in logica femminista).   Ma non parlo nemmeno di questo. Per me prenderlo non significa necessariamente essere femminilizzati, anzi io proprio ho repulsione per questa cosa se faccio l'attivo. Io voglio uomo e uomo.  Parlo di impulso o necessità corporea. Non so come spiegarlo a parole perché è quasi soprannaturale. Io quando mi guardavo allo specchio pre transizione intravedevo già che lì doveva esserci un aspetto di maschio. Non c'era niente di simbolico. O a livello genitale io ho proprio, talvolta, la sensazione di avere un pene. Per questo per me una persona solo attiva penetrativa è castrante letteralmente perché non mi lascia esprimere questa pulsione... Non significa che se gli guardo il culo o lo tocco o lo penetro lo sto rendendo femminile e sto diventando io maschile. Mentre ho avuto una disconnessione forte e di disagio per lunghi anni con la vagina al punto che dovevo dissociarmi. Al massimo posso lavorare col simbolico per superare certe cose ma insomma se non avessi avuto questo sfasamento e disagio.. che pone radici sul corpo sessuato... Non sarei ciò che sono. Ciò che credo sia femminilizzante per me sarebbe essere apprezzato esclusivamente per tratti fisici femminili e schifato su quelli maschili.

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Confesso che fino allo scorso anno non sapevo molto di autoginefilia e pensavo fosse eventualmente un fenomeno molto contenuto...mi è capitato poi di leggere articoli scritti da TERF che evidenziavano la diffusione di questa parafilia tra i transgender e quindi poi, un po' ideologicamente, ho preferito non approfondire troppo. Immaginavo ci fosse una sofferenza profonda nel vivere in un corpo sessuato di aspetto femminile, ecco. Capisco ma fatico davvero ad immedesimarmi, probabilmente perché mi sono sbarazzato abbastanza presto dell'apparato simbolico che ruota attorno al sesso. Dopo aver posto qualche resistenza quando ero molto giovane, fino ai 20-21 anni diciamo, non mi sono mai più chiesto se quel che facevo con un altro ragazzo fosse più o meno virile, né ho pensato che essere penetrato significasse "femminilizzarmi"...

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